I need a life...

I've been thinking about why I am starting this blog and it comes down to simply this...I need a life...badly.  Don't get me wrong, I love many parts of my life right now.  I have an amazing husband and an amazing daughter and we are starting an amazing journey in Moscow, ID (hence, a new beginning).  I simply want to be an active participant in that journey rather than just a casual observer with the occasional question or comment.  I could so easily let Jacob go to law school and support him in the process, cook meals, watch the baby, play with the baby, change the baby, feed the baby, clean the house, and let that be my life but I DON'T WANT TO!!!  I don't want to be one of those women that completely loses herself when she becomes a mom, or a wife for that matter.  I have a brain, and I want to use it.  I'm not sure how to utilize said brain at this particular moment...meaning I'm not sure what endeavor I ought to pursue with my brain, however, I am determined to figure it out.  Even if it is just reading through the millions of books I own (the academic ones, not the pleasure reading ones) at least I'll be exercising my brain.

Now, let's be honest...I am not a self-starter.  I'm not terribly motivated in, well, pretty much anything.  I don't care enough to care most of the time.  There are very few things in life that get me going or rather make me want to get going.  I just don't really see the point most of the time.  However, and let me state this most emphatically this time, I NEED A LIFE!!!  I'm becoming boring...just ask my husband :)  I don't have anything left to talk about except when Tirzah ate last and how full her diaper was.  Sometimes I talk about the fact that I need to do the dishes before I go to bed (which I should be doing right now) and sometimes I even play with the idea of unpacking another box in my never-ending and always overwhelming quest to make this house a home.  That's another thing...I'm terrible with the whole getting settled thing.  I have been known to leave a box in a most inopportune spot for a year or more simply because the thought of going through it is overwhelming to me.  Stupid?  Yes.  Explainable?  Maybe, but that doesn't excuse it.  I'm a little bit of a babbler so if you are still reading this good for you :)

Okay, back to the point of me needing a life.  Like I said, I'm not entirely sure what shape this life will take but I am determined to find it and cultivate it and thrive within it so...I suppose that is the point of this blog.  This blog is meant to chronicle the journey of my finding a life, a new beginning.  It is also meant to keep me accountable in my efforts to find a life because, again, I'm not a self-starter and I tend to let days and weeks and even months go by before I realize, "Oh yeah, I was supposed to be doing something productive with myself." :)  I do much better when I have someone else kicking my...well, you get the point ;)  This will be interesting...I hope.